Spoken by me at Moira's memorial service as a celebration of her life. Moira was who she was – with all her difficulties. However: She enjoyed living She enjoyed people – in creating very personable relationships with them Moira’s life was a very fulfilling life - a very rewarding life Yes - Moira’s life was a struggle but also one that she won - right to the very last moment Her life went through a number of ‘eras’ 1985-1987 She was born in November 1985 to the delight of her family - Mum, sister Penny, brother Ian and me – her father. It was not until 3 months later we discovered the devastating news – first – she was blind and second - she was brain injured. It was Ian our 8 year old son who brought us back into reality. He asked “did something happen to Moira yesterday?” We said no and were about to explain when he said – “well that’s okay then”. The next era was spent investigating and looking for way to help Moira. Even at that stage there was a spark in Moira. We had to find a way to let it flame. 1987-1988 BIBIC – the British Institute for Brain Injured Children ended up being that way – they had a program of intensive exercises and taught us in 1987 – shortly before we left for USA. Jill had already set up the course in the UK and had a range of people helping. I found a new house in New Canaan where it could be restarted when Jill and our 3 children arrived in March. 1988-1990 This program really took off in New Canaan. Jill put one letter in the local newspaper and had over 100 volunteers by the weekend! People, rich and poor, came to help. Two people would turn up for one of the daily six sessions each day. If they could not - they found someone else. Not only that – each day meals started to arrive for the family from a stranger. It took several weeks to find out who was organizing it and persuade them to at least reduce it down to one a week! This continued until we returned to the UK in 1990. Moira’s zest for life came through. She started to enjoy life. You could see it in her face, in her eyes and in squeals of enjoyment. We were very humbled by the experience – however we also became aware that so many of those people were greatly enriched by their experience with Moira. We heard story after story of how they had been helped. Some stories only become to light after we had left. The couple that Moira brought back together; the small girl who came to realize that, like Moira, she had done nothing wrong – even though she had been abused by a family friend; a family that learnt their father actually had a real caring side to his nature; the family that saw their mother come home ‘sparkling’ when ever she had ‘done’ Moira that day! 1990 - 1995 Back in London Jill started the program again with the help of many people. However we were also immediately under pressure to send Moira to school. We could not find one – although Jill visited many right across the UK – until she walked into the RNIB ‘Sunshine’ school for the blind – in East Grinstead. In this school, which cared for many blind multiple handicapped small children, there was a different ethos – one that was aimed at getting these children to participate in LIFE. It was there we met another fantastic group of people, including Eironwy, Louise, Lucy, Sean and others. Moira participated in bottom shuffling down stairs, learnt the pleasures of gate trainers, chariots, pushing herself in her wheelchair but more importantly, to participate in ordinary life – washing, eating, dressing and participating with others. 1995-2001 The next era started with the closure of that school – central office decided to move resources to care of the blind rather than the multiple handicapped children in Sunshine house school. We fought to keep the school but lost. Moira spent the remainder of her school years at the remaining RNIB school in Kettering and then at Coney Hill School in South London. We put all our effort in supporting Moira in these two schools to try and achieve the same ethos as in the East Grinstead school. Moira was there Monday to Friday and with us at weekends and holidays when she participated in family life. Jill was there Mondays and Fridays. There were many caring people and amazing situations: the waiter who lifted the table up on ashtrays to allow Moira to fit her wheelchair and knees under the table to be with us; the people who moved to assist; the electronics person who created a guidance system on Moira’s electric chair and many others. Family has always been important to Moira. She always had a special place for each of her close family but also enjoyed visiting the family elsewhere – in Nottingham with her grandparents and Uncle William and family, in Toronto with Uncle Alan, Auntie Avril and their families and latterly at her cousin Angela’s wedding in Nova Scotia. We at least found many things we could do as a family – eating out – going to Centre Parcs – boating – and the Calvert Trust holidays with their ‘can do’ attitude. Many of you will have seen Moira swimming, flying, - participating in life! Eironwy continued to assist us throughout this period. We also assisted her to form Life Of Your Own. Jill becoming Chairman and I was Treasurer. 2001-2007 As Moira reached 16 we became to realize that we were very unhappy with all of the post school offerings for Moira. We realized that the ONLY possibility for us to move to Tunbridge Wells and directly join LOYO there. There started the next era in Moira’s life. Cadogan was created and LOYO embraced the family. Here we met many people who took Moira to their hearts. It wasn’t just the staff – in fact the staff weren’t just staff – they were friends and members of our extended family. LOYO encouraged us to bring in FlatMates for Moira and to allow Moira to go out into the community where she met many beautiful people. LOYO delivered its promised community based education program. Geography was her garden; science was cooking; history and biology was visiting Henry the horse. Moira learnt like everyone else that things had to be done cleaning; shopping; cooking – things that could be done later and things we wanted to do. At all times LOYO made life fair, fun, made sense and of real value. 2008 Moira’s last year was very special. Her body had deteriorated – she went through a horrible experience over Christmas 2007. She hung on and said “I enjoy life”. This year she grew up – became independent of her parents – in her own ‘student’ digs. She formed yet new relationships and told us again – “I love being with people – people who give themselves willingly to enjoy my life with me”. She always preferred live music to recorded. We use to take her to the Albert hall, other concerts, Jazz, - she loved the bussle of people. She loved the pub – first the Prince of Wales and latterly the Mount Edgcombe where we went every Sunday evening for the past year. We know she enjoyed music at home, Sussi’s bar, the Guinea Butt, the Grey Lady – it was the live music she enjoyed most – especially those who gave her the time to converse directly with her. So many of our new friends in Tunbridge Wells and surrounds have come about through a direct link through Moira. So what is it that Moira has brought to us all? It is the warmth of people It’s her ability to connect with so many people – to make them feel they are special. It’s Moira’s ability to go on living and enjoying her life to the maximum. I know I am speaking for her when I say to everyone here and those unable to be here today: “Thank you, thank you for making my life so full – I am still with you – enjoy your lives to the full – remember its people that’s important – nothing else.” Her Dad. X X X X X